Ways to Drive Mom Crazy

This little dog lays awake at night to think up ways to drive me crazy. I know he doesn't sleep at night because he lays his little furry behind up on the back of the couch and sleeps all day. Four of his latest little schemes to drive me over the edge:

1. He will sleep all day then when at night we are exhausted from taking him outside every hour or two so he won't have an accident he decides. ITS PLAY TIME! Now is the time to run back and for the through the house like a maniac propelling himself first at me like a bullet all the while scratching and biting at me then pounces at Lee trying to draw blood and usually succeeding, off one chair onto the couch back through the house and start all over again. This goes on until he wears him self out. Then he stretches out and sleeps some more.
2. Going out for potty. This has become a new game for him. The first few days he was so good. He would find his favorite spots and do his business. Now for two days we walk and walk and walk (in the miserable heat). He may piddle but for the big number he just won't focus. There are so many other things to do for fun. He is like a little vaccum cleaner. Every rock, piece of pine bark that has washed out of someones flower bed, every piece of paper, every mushroom growing wild along the way, every flower bush, every little twig. He thinks he has to eat all of these things. Then of course there are the people walking he has to socialize with and all the puppies to stop and talk to. All this results in an hour of me nudging him along getting nothing productive accomplished having him run in and out around my legs trying to trip me then finely getting the little devil home and getting out of my drenched clothing. Only to do it all over again in about 2 hours.
3. Today the fun thing to drive Mom crazy! LETS BARK AT EVERYTHING THAT MOVES OUTSIDE. After having Hannibal for over a week and never hearing a bark out of him while in the house. Today we discover barking at the outside world. He is laying in his favorite spot and barking incessantly at every twig or piece of leave that moves outside.
4. He has managed to destroy the "Hated Harness." He has chewed it almost completely in two. It is hanging by a thread. So today on his walk he had to wear the little choker leash we got from the pound when we picked him up. Thus bringing him even closer to my feet when we are walking. I guess today after Lee's daily Dr. appointment we must go to Pet smart and get one of those mesh harnesses. Maybe it will fit closer to the body and he can't get to it to chew.

I really think this little dog is bi-polar. Right now he is laying in his favorite spot being a good little boy.